The holidays arrive on schedule every year. The music starts in the stores before you're ready. The decorations go up. The invitations come in. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, you are expected to show up — to gather, to celebrate, to be present — while carrying a loss that nobody put on the calendar.

For anyone grieving, the holiday season can feel like an ambush. Not because the holidays are bad, but because the gap between what the season is supposed to feel like and what it actually feels like can be enormous.

This post is for anyone dreading the season — whether this is your first holiday without someone you loved, or your fifth.